Major Disruptions

The decision to divorce causes major changes in the lives of all family members. Some upheaval is inevitable. The main trouble areas are:

1. Financial: Money becomes a huge problem for most people. The cost of a divorce is extremely high, and two households cost more than one.

2. Career: Being less focused at work and spending time away from the job for divorce-related appointments takes its toll.

3. Logistics: Running your home is more difficult because you no longer have a partner to help with daily chores.

4. Emotional: Most people have periods of depression, sadness, anger, and fatigue.

Lots of Feelings

People who are experiencing the breakup of their marriage can expect to have a wide variety of feelings. Some call it “the crazy time” and there is even a book about divorce with this title. The following complaints are common:

• Poor concentration

• Nightmares

• Sleep problems

• Fatigue

• Mood swings

• Feeling tense

• Nausea

• Gaining/losing weight

• Feeling nervous

• Somatic complaints

Divorce profoundly affects children. In Surviving the Breakup, author Judith Wallerstein describes the experience of 60 divorcing families. She outlines the following key issues for children of divorcing families:

Fear: Divorce is frightening to children, and they often respond with feelings of anxiety. Children feel more vulnerable after a divorce because their world has become less reliable.

Fear of abandonment: One-third of the children in Wallerstein’s study feared that their mother would abandon them.

Confusion: The children in divorcing families become confused about their relationships with their parents. They see their parents’ relationship fall apart and sometimes conclude that their own relationship with one or both parents could dissolve, as well.

Sadness and yearning: More than half of the children in the Wallerstein study were openly tearful and sad in response to the losses they experienced. Two-thirds expressed yearning, for example: “We need a daddy. We don’t have a daddy.”

Worry: In Wallerstein’s study, many children expressed concern about one or both of their parents’ ability to cope with their lives. They wondered if their parents were emotionally stable and able to make it on their own.
Over half of the children expressed deep worries about their mothers. They witnessed their mothers’ mood swings and emotional reactions to the events in the family. Some children worried about suicide and accidents.

Feeling rejected: Many children who experience a parent moving out of the home feel rejected by the parent. The parent is usually preoccupied with problems and pays less attention to the child than in the past. Many children take this personally and feel rejected and unlovable.

Loneliness: Since both parents are preoccupied with their problems during the divorce process, they are less able to fulfill their parenting roles with their children. The children may feel like their parents are slipping away from them. If the father has moved away and the mother has gone off to work, the children often feel profound loneliness.

Divided loyalties: The children may (accurately) perceive that the parents are in a battle with each other. The children feel pulled in both directions and may resolve the dilemma by siding with one parent against another.

Anger: Children in divorcing families experience more aggression and anger. It is often directed toward the parents, expressed in tantrums, irritability, resentment, and verbal attacks. Many children see the divorce as a selfish act and feel very resentful about the resulting destruction of their lives.

More than one-third of the children in Judith Wallerstein’s study showed acute depressive symptoms such as sleeplessness, restlessness, difficulty in concentrating, deep sighing, feelings of emptiness, compulsive overeating, and various somatic complaints.

The symptoms that many children may have during the divorce process either moderate or disappear within 18 months after the breakup. Of the symptoms that remain, the most common are:

1. Manipulative behavior was reported by about 20% of the teachers of the children in Wallerstein’s study.

2. Depression was diagnosed in 25% of the children and adolescents. The symptoms of depression in children include:

• Low self-esteem

• Inability to concentrate

• Sadness

• Mood swings

• Irritability

• Secretiveness

• Isolation

• Self-blame

• Eating disorders

• Behaving perfectly

• Being accident-prone

• Stealing

• Skipping school

• Underachieving at school

• Sexual acting out

You should consider finding a therapist to work with if most of the time you feel:

• Alone

• Depressed

• Numb

• Exhausted

• Isolated

• Hopeless

• Overwhelmed by your children

• Overwhelmed by your feelings

• You are sleeping too much or too little

• Worried

• Anxious

• Afraid

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.

Even the most carefully planned weddings are not immune to disaster. Events can happen unexpectedly that it is impossible to plan for. For example, what if there was a fire that destroyed the wedding venue just before the big day? Or what if the marquee company went bust? Most couples would by then have paid a large sum of non-refundable deposits to hire the venue and the caterers etc. Without insurance this money has effectively gone up in smoke, and the couple would have to find a new venue for the reception at very short notice, or face the option of having to postpone their wedding day altogether.

In this situation, a good wedding insurance policy would cover the costs of the deposits and provide help towards the extra costs of rearranging the wedding. Of course it always pays to be diligent when buying any sort of insurance premium. It is advisable to compare the level of cover offered by various companies, as this can vary considerably between insurance providers.

With the average cost of a wedding dress now approximately £1000, plus the high costs of the attire for the groom and the rest of the bridal party, it may well be worth considering insurance in case any of the outfits get ruined. There are so many different things to organize when arranging a wedding, which means relying on lots of other people to make sure everything goes smoothly. Insurance can cover things such as the cost of a wedding car, wedding cake and the rings. Wedding presents can also be covered just in case they are stolen. Cover typically includes flowers, videos and photographs too.

Given the huge expense of the average wedding day, couples would be wise to consider the option of insurance right at the beginning of the preparations. The majority of weddings take several months of rigorous planning, during which time all kinds of unexpected events could occur to throw a spanner in the works. So is it worth it? Well consider this. For all the planning, the preparation, and the organizing, as little as £50 can buy you peace of mind. It’s a small price to pay really, isn’t it?

Caroline Smith is a successful freelance writer who has written many articles for for http://www.discount-wedding-dresses.com, your one stop source for finding the best deals on the internet for discount wedding dresses, wedding favors, bridal gowns, wedding accessories and more!

The Tradition of Wedding Flowers

Carrying flowers by the bride is not something new; it actually has its roots in ancient times. Strong smelling herbs and spices were used to keep away evil spirits during the wedding celebration. Later, during the Roman era, flowers were used to symbolize fertility. Eventually, flowers were given different meanings and used as a way of sending “love notes” in the form of bouquets. Soon, the tradition of the meaning of each flower trickled down and was adopted for the bride’s bouquet.

By tradition, the groom wears a flower that appears in the bridal bouquet in his buttonhole. This custom originates from the Medieval tradition of a knight wearing his lady’s colors as a declaration of love.

So it seems that a wedding without flowers is like, well, it’s like a garden without flowers!

So Many Choices

Have you ever considered how many different kinds of flowers there are? Hundreds of beautiful blooms are available to create the romantic elegance your wedding deserves. You may even feel like author Phoebe Cary, who said, “I know not which I love the most, Nor which the comeliest shows, The timid, bashful violet Or the royal-hearted rose: The pansy in purple dress, The pink with cheek of red, Or the faint, fair heliotrope, who hangs, Like a bashful maid her head.” So, how do you choose?

One way is to consider the different meanings of the flowers and create a bouquet that is not only beautiful to the eye, but also meaningful to the heart. Another way is to consider the time of year. Many flowers are more common during one season than another, so finding off-season flowers may be difficult!

Based on tradition, here are some of the more popular wedding bouquet flowers and what they mean, along with when they are in season:

• Red Rose – Love, All Year

• White Rose – Unity, All Year

• Yellow Rose – Joy, All Year

• Orange Rose – Passion, All Year

• Pink Rose – Secret Love, or Grace & Sweetness, All Year

• Alstroemeria – Devotion, All Year

• Baby’s Breath – Innocence, All Year

• Calla Lily – Magnificent Beauty, March through September

• Carnation – Devoted Love, All Year

• Daisy – Innocence & Romance, All Year

• Ivy – Fidelity, Marriage, All Year

• Lily Of The Valley – Happiness, March through September

• Myrtle – Joy , All Year

• Orchid – Love & Beauty, All Year

• Stephanotis – Marital Happiness, All Year

• Tulips – Love & Passion, January through April

• Zinnia – Affection, All Year

The best way to get the right flowers is to choose the right florist and one of the best ways to find a good florist is by word of mouth. If the florist’s service and work comes highly recommended, chances are they will do a good job for you. Select a florist that listens to you and really grasps the look and feel you want. Be open to the florist’s ideas and suggestions. In the long run, it will be the value of their experience, talent, and expertise that you have purchased.

Don’t Forget the Flowers for the….

In addition to flowers for the wedding party and family members, you will need flowers for the church, arrangements for the reception tables, head table, and guest book table. You may even want flowers for the cake and a small bouquet for the ladies’ room. To make sure you don’t forget any of your floral needs, here is a list of possibilities:

• Flowers for the Bridal Party

• Bride’s Bouquet

• Maid/Matron of Honor

• Mother of the Bride

• Mother of the Groom

• Bridesmaids

• Flower Girl

• Grandmothers

• Groom

• Best Man

• Father of the Bride

• Father of the Groom

• Ushers

• Ring Bearer

• Grandfathers

Flowers for the Wedding Ceremony

• Altar Arrangements

• Aisle Markers

• Candelabras

• Aisle Runner

• Canopy or Archway

• Kneeling Bench

Flowers for the Reception

• Bridal Table

• Cake Table

• Guest Table

• Buffet Table

• Bandstand

• Gift Table

• Guest Book Table

• Bouquet to Throw

Fresh flowers underline the importance and elegance of your wedding day. They enhance any setting and can literally transform an average looking room into a beautiful scene. If you’ve planned well, your flowers will be exactly what you want, and you’ll be free to focus on what your day is all about.

About The Author

Claire Bowes is a successful freelance writer and owner of http://www.1st-for-flowers.com where you will find further tips and ideas for http://www.1st-for-flowers.com/wedding-flowers.html http://www.1st-for-flowers.com/flower-baskets.html and http://www.1st-for-flowers.com/flower-gifts.html.

One of my clients got divorced several years ago. As the breakup crisis settled down and she moved into her new life, she remarked, “Thank heavens, I never have to go camping again!”

Whatever the dynamics were in her former marriage, for some reason, she felt it was her duty to participate in something she hated. Consequently, as she searches for someone new, she looks to see if a potential date has absolutely everything in common with her.

Two things have happened as a result of her rigid approach: she found a few men on the internet who met all of her criteria, but when she saw them face to face, she didn’t like them; and, she can’t find anyone else to date. She is convinced that there isn’t anyone out there for her.

I told her I knew it was hard work to go looking, but that there was someone trying to find her, as she was trying to find him. I reassured her that just because you haven’t found him yet doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

She continued, “Yeah, but I can’t find anyone who likes to do everything that I do.”

I told my client that she would increase the likelihood of meeting someone if she could keep an open mind and an open heart. You need to consider people who may not be the type you have always imagined.

If you are finding a short supply of people to date, consider the following:

*Think carefully before you put labels on what you want people to be.

Is the color of someone’s hair, how much they weigh, or how tall they are a non-negotiable requirement, a need, or a want? The same could be said for their age, how much money they earn, or their years of formal education. Do they have to live in your city, or can they be within a 500-mile radius, or can they be from anywhere?

*Shared interests are important, but are all of the ones that you have in mind absolute musts?

Often, just several shared interests are more than enough to give you a focus around which to relate. There is no rule written that says you must do EVERYTHING together. Let go of that self-imposed limiting thought and new doors will open for you.

Keep the net wide open when you are telling friends you’d like to meet someone.

Do not thwart the possibilities of who they can bring to you with specific criteria unless it is a totally necessary requirement. Tell your friends you would like to meet someone wonderful, and leave it at that. There is no doubt that chemistry is vital, but you and your friends can’t know if that is going to be there until you meet the person. Relationships that last have the qualities that endure, such as kindness, intelligence, honesty, patience, and vibrancy.

Accept the fact that after the age of 35, most people come with a history of relationships and other responsibilities.

You may have to stretch yourself in order to fit or accept this reality. However, if you can keep your heart open, you may find these challenges to be your new blessings.

My father used to say, “There’s a lid for every pot.” There is someone out there for you. They may not look exactly the way you thought they would, but you don’t have to go camping with them either if you don’t want to. They are waiting nevertheless.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

These women in attempt take claim of the bridal bouquet intend to jump higher than any 7ft basket ball player. This part of the wedding celebration can prove to be very entertaining for other guests looking on.

Flowers are a vital part of any wedding ceremony blooms are believed to symbolize new hope and a prosperous future ahead for the couple. Church aisles – pews covered in flower blossoms will send a sweet fragrance of freshness throughout the air. Also traditional flower arrangements and settings implement beauty at weddings.

There are so many pretty natures of the earth to choose from, orchids, lilies and roses are flowers that are commonly used to make pretty teardrop bouquets which once again is a common hand held bridal piece for the bride of today. Depending on the theme of the wedding flower types other than orchids roses lilies may change also colours.

If money is tight and restricting you from having the flowers you dream of then why not consider making your own bouquet. Have a little trail run with silk flowers that you may have picked up cheaply at a garage or car boot sale. If you are happy with your first attempt an in your dummy run on making a bouquet then get started on making your dream come true by doing it your way.

After you have chose the flowers you would like keep in mind your theme when spicing up the bouquet/church with stunning colours. Always check for the availibility on the flower type of your choice before the final decision to go head as this particular bloom may be out of season.
Flowers like orchids, baby’s breath, roses and gardenia are available no matter what time of the year.

Now that you have made up your mind up be sure to order the flowers for the bridal bouquet on the day of the event if possible, therefore a guarantee of fresher than fresh. You will need about three dozen of your selected flowers depending on the size you have in mind for your hand held posy/bouquet, a sharp scissor, florist tape, and ribbons. Now take a visit down to local library and pick up a good book on flower arranging which will give tips and guidance.

Ideas to spruce up your wedding day in way you never dreamed possible will leave you mentally scarred with excitement. Books give detailed pictures on how to make bouquets table centre pieces and much more in simple and easy steps to follow.

If you are content with your finished creation stand yourself in front of the mirror, this will give you an insight as to what others will see when you walk up the aisle. Want to know what they see besides a woman full of determination who did it all herself, is a bride as pretty as a picture because she kept with tradition where flower power made her day.

Hours of research brought me to this fabulous site and hey what do you know everything you could possibly need is all here to make your wedding day special..Well worth a visit dont just take my word for it http://www.your-wedding-planning-help.com

1. Try to remember what you liked about your spouse from when you were first married. What did you do to woo your husband/wife? Do it again! Sometimes, especially if we have been married for a while we tend to take each other for granted and forget about how much we love the person we married.

It’s true, we do change as we experience life and as we get older but were not different people. Hopefully we are smarter, more experienced, happier, and more fun loving as we age. Did you know that couples who grow spiritually and mentally together instead of apart have better marriages? It’s true!

2. Don’t feel intimidated to try something different from your usual routine. Couples can literally get so caught up in their daily routines that they miss out on the special opportunities to add a little pack of spunk into their marriage. This is also true in the lovemaking department. Try different techniques and different positions. There is no need to be shy with your spouse, more than likely, they too would like to try something different out of the ordinary.

Try your expertise at bowling, roller-skating, or ice-skating, see a movie, or walk in the mall. Anything! Sharing time together doing things you normally wouldn’t do brings excitement and fun back into a mundane relationship while bringing you closer together.

If you like a challenge, or you’re a thrill seeker, try skydiving, bungie jumping or for the more conscience at heart and a bit safer, how about a roller coaster ride. But by all means do these thrilling things together.

3. Take the weekend off and go somewhere romantic. Snow anyone? You don’t necessarily need to know how to ski to enjoy the amenities and beauty of a ski lodge. Lounge in the Jacuzzi, go sledding, take long walks outdoors, or sit by the fire talking about anything and everything. But leave work and home life out of the conversation.

Take a trip to a lake in your area and stay overnight in a cabin. Go fishing, swimming, hiking, backpacking with your husband and eat by the campfire. Sleep in a tent and roast marshmallows.

4. Take a three-day spiritual/meditation retreat together. This will do wonders for the body, mind and soul. It will give you the relaxation you need to refresh your whole outlook on life and rejuvenate your marriage too.

5. Write down all the things you love about your husband/wife and share your thoughts with each other. Sometimes we forget to tell our spouse how much we love them or why we love them, but we all need to hear those words once in awhile. It’s that bit of reassurance that brings music to our ears as it reminds us how blessed we really are to have married the person we did. Let’s not forget about all those little things we love about our husband/wife. Let’s tell them today!

6. Make up your own coupon booklet on the computer and give it to your husband/wife. In the coupon booklet for an example a coupon might read, “This coupon good for a 1/2 hour back rub.” The next coupon might read, “Coupon good for 20 minute foot massage.” The next coupon might say, “Good for one night out at your favorite restaurant”. Coupon booklets are great because we can customize them to our needs and wants too.
Happy Romancing!

Angie Lewis has written another valuable and informative book geared to married women and women who are thinking of getting married. In her book Angie shares her inspired divine wisdom that took her years to figure out and apply into her own marriage of 22 years. She shows you step by step biblical applications for a happier and forever lasting marriage.

“LOVE THE MAN YOU MARRIED” (A Woman’s Handbook For Marriage) will be released to the public in February 2006.

For more information on this book visit Angie’s website
http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com/

Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can learn to stay happily and forever married!
http://www.heavenministries.com/

Many times in our life, we want to achieve some goals. We have our dreams and our ideas. We never reveal them to anyone. But if we relate to somebody very well, we will tell about this to that person. If our relationship is good, we will get support and encouragement. Please go ahead. I think you are very intelligent and you can do this. You have the capability. I will be with you at every step.

Sometimes, we fall sick and feel very helpless. A prolonged sickness affects the confidence. Only a relationship supports us at that time. Please have no worry. You will get all right. Everything will be Ok very soon. Please believe me. I am with you at all the times. Words can give life.

I can give many examples like these. A relationship gets us a friend, a lover and a confident. When we have a partner, we are not alone. We can open ourselves without fear. We can act as we wish and believe that it will be understood. A good relationship is invaluable. Many times some of us never realize our strength. Our partner points that out to us. He/she tells us – darling, you are so good in this. Why not progress further. You will perform fantastically. This can change our outlook and enhance our self-esteem. Please increase the intimacy and make your relationship of the kind that gives life its true joy.

CDMohatta writes articles on Relationships, love, Divorce, Dating and other related issues of life. Please read articles from Love Articles & Advice For Men, Love Articles & Advice For Women and Relationship Articles and Advice

Often the wedding reception venue offers catering service, so you may not need to worry about hiring a caterer. Even if catering is not offered by the reception venue, they may be able to suggest one to you. Even if your reception site manager, recommends a catering service you should still do your homework. Just like any other wedding vendor, a caterer has to be able to provide you professional references. Part of your job is to always contact the references.

Because so much rides on the caterer, make sure the business is: experienced, reliable, trustworthy, and they provide a quality product and service. Don’t think that a caterer recommended by someone if the best possible solution for your wedding. One caterer may work great for one event, but be insufficient for others. A caterer may be experienced in smaller events, but not experienced with events with two hundred invited guests. One may be experienced with weddings and another with conventions.

There are two different styles of catering:
Seated Dinner – Seated dinner setting will usually require more servers than a buffet dinner. Serving the food requires more staff. With a seated dinner, you need more tables and chairs for most of the guests will eat at the same time. A seated dinner offers less flexibility for your guests, because they usually have a couple of options to choose from. To make it easier on you and your caterer, menu options ought to be included with the wedding invitations so your guests can choose which selection they prefer. The pre-selection process enables you to work with your caterer on the final count.

Buffet – With this option, you may be able to get away with less chairs and tables. Buffet gives your guests more options, and they don’t all have to eat at the same time. A buffet dinner gives your wedding reception guests more alternatives to customize their food selection. The buffet requires a smaller staff, and your guests can pick and choose what they like. In addition to the clear advantage of a more flexible buffet dinner, your hungrier guests can go back for seconds. Because buffet dinners require minimal service staff, you should be able to save money with this option.

Wedding Favors
Wedding reception favors personalized, wedding candles, favor bags.

Happy marriage: – Happy marriage is happy marriage in all prospects. Clear understanding, deep love, mutual respect of thoughts, faith, ignorance of silly mistakes and cool temperament towards disputes are the qualities. Such kinds of marriages are always an energy source for the couple. It doesn’t matter if the marriage is love-marriage or an arrange one.

Unhappy marriage: – This is the one, which others enjoy more than the couple itself. There may be any reasons for the marriage to be unhappy, but basic thing is the lack of reasons of happy marriage. Such marriages cause negative energy and produce mental depressions and tension. Such marriages are not long lasting, if even than, these lasts, (as happens in some tradition enforced marriages in India, where divorce is a social crime) they are always irritating.

Mandatory marriage: – These are manifesto marriages. Such marriages exist for social pretension. These are found commonly in countries like India, where traditions are very respective and hard. Both or one of the couple, is totally neutral about warmness of marital relation. Society and family matters much more than each other. Such marriage goes very calmly, without expectation or romanticism of any kind. Responsibilities matter a lot instead of relations. Marriage becomes an agreement in such case.

If a marriage is a happy marriage, it is a great source of positive energy. Now-a-days effect of professionalisms is transiting marriages towards agreements. Modern youth has a big population of people not interested in marriage. Live in relation ships and short term agreements of natural need are being popular. As such thought containers think marriage, more of a social responsibilities, than a love based life- long relationship. Arrange marriages are now eliminating or being converted into net-arranged or wedding- planner arranged. Even in such panned marriages, there is an important factor of testifying each other, before marriage. Currently professions are gaining lot more attention than marriages, so marriages are being secondary and late in life. After getting late, marriages become a responsibility, because everyone needs a companion, spatially in latter part of life.

For a well-settled happy life it is almost a necessity for a common human, to have a good family and happy-healthy marriage. In some cases, people decide to avoid marriage or to live alone for life long, as if they are doing something so important, that they can not take an extra responsibility or burden; if they had an irritating family history with parents or in past relation experiences or if they think living freely is what they want in life, so there is no need to attach themselves in expectations.

Some people like their marital life and some not. After all marriage is one of the strongest concepts of human civilization and a very traditional custom. In modern age there may be some rare difference of thoughts, but most of the world, believe marriages to be very important for a happy life. In religious view man and woman are incomplete without each other, system of marriage supports the completion very much. It prevents social crimes and helps in building a healthy social system.

John Rivers is the editor of save Save Your Marriage. Find out how you can save your marriage or relationship:
reports, advice, tips.

Hosting Your Wedding At A Beach That Is Far Away From Home

One of the most popular of all weddings these days is the beach theme wedding, and in addition there are many different variations on this interesting theme.

Whether you host your wedding at a local beach half an hour away from home or in an exotic beach resort halfway around the world, there is something about a wedding on the beach that brings to mind all kinds of excitement and adventure.

Using Publications To Help You Find Ideas

There are of course many places to start the search for the perfect beach theme wedding, and if you are like many other brides to be, chances are you have already accumulated plenty of bridal magazines, wedding planning guides and other types of publications.

These popular publications can be a great source of all kinds of information on all kinds of beach themed weddings, and you are likely to pick up some great ideas just by leafing through the articles and the advertisements in these publications.

Using The Internet To Find Ideas

In addition to these publications, there are many different kinds of beach theme wedding ideas available on the internet.

From the many commercial and personal web sites and newsgroups, to the many email lists and blogs, there are plenty of great online resources that allow those planning a wedding to meet with others in the same situation.

Just talking to other brides to be and wedding planners is often a great way to come up with some ideas for the perfect beach theme wedding. These beach weddings are all the rage these days, and the enormous popularity of weddings on the beaches of the United States, Mexico, Europe and the rest of the world is only likely to grow.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at
http://www.best-wedding-plan.com/beach_wedding_theme.html